How to Explain Menopause to Your Husband.

He means well. He also just asked if you're "feeling hormonal" while you were opening the fourth window.

A little explanation goes a long way. Here's a cheat sheet you can hand over.

The basics, for him

• Menopause is when periods stop for good. The average age is around 51.
• The years leading up to it are called perimenopause, and they can last several years.
• Hormone levels shift, and that can affect temperature, sleep, mood, memory, joints, skin and more.

What helps

• Never say "calm down." Ever.
• Thermostat diplomacy. A fan on her side of the bed. Separate blankets. Peace in our time.
• Ask, don't fix. "What do you need right now?" beats a lecture.
• Learn the signs. If she's up at 3am, she's not being dramatic. She's tired.
• Come to an appointment if she wants you there. Take notes.
• Laugh with her, never at her.

And for you

You don't have to explain everything at once. Sending him this page counts.

Love (and a fan), deia